.you take the good; you take the bad.

Last night we had a wonderful time at our house.  We were celebrating our son's 23rd birthday.  He and his girlfriend came over; our daughter and her husband came and our son's best friend joined us as well.  I made lots of homemade Italian goodies, mostly from scratch plus lots of other goodies to snack on.  We played a game our son taught us "Yes/No" which is somewhat equivalent to what we played as kids but known as "Hot/Cold" and in much more detail.  We laughed until it hurt!  Then we pulled out the Wii and had bowling tournaments.  Before long it was time for everyone to head home; leftovers were handed out and I collapsed on the couch.  I was utterly and completely exhausted.  But it was worth every minute of pain last night and the exhaustion I'm still feeling today to spend that time with my family; have fun; laugh and make memories.  I know there won't always be good days, so I'm going to enjoy those that I do have, when I can!

Then this morning finds me at my drs office for a follow up on some blood work.  The numbers aren't good.  My thyroid is completely out of control again (6.116 - should be 0.340) this despite being on 200 mcg of Synthroid every day and my iron count is very low (32 - should be 40-150).  "Girl, how in the world are you getting out of bed in the morning?!"  she asked me.

I just started crying.  I'm crying as I write this.  See, for those who don't deal with several chronic illnesses, what you fail to understand is that there is always SO much going on with your body that it's hard to know what is illness and what is just life.  Everyone has a tough time in life; everyone has hard days.  I just assumed I was going through that phase of life.  I had also thought (who likes to admit this out loud) that maybe I had gotten lazy.  I was sleeping alot.  When I make my bed in the morning, I count down the hours until I can climb back in it!  On the weekends, I'll do a couple chores and take a nap.  I'm in bed by 8:00 most nights and have to fight to get out of bed in the mornings for work.  I just thought I was being lazy.   And there's just such relief and validation to hear your doctor tell you that your blood work is so bad you shouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning......well, it just makes you cry.

So medications have been changed; medications have been added.  It's discouraging to hear that it will be at least a month before I notice a difference, but if I can try to keep my eyes focused on the future, hopefully time will move swiftly.  She's also still waiting to hear from the Rheumatologist and said if she doesn't by Monday she's going to start playing hard ball.

So it was wonderful to enjoy a fun filled night with my husband, our children and their friends.  It was worth every ounce of effort it took to see the joy in their eyes.  It was discouraging to get the news this morning about my blood work but encouraging to have hope that relief is in sight.

As I said, we all have good days and we all have bad days.  Maybe I'm not so different after all!



.you take the good, you take the bad, you take 'em both and there you have the facts of life!